Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Love Kick Starts Again.

Music video is wicked cool. RemstAr came over and showed me it while he was on his stoney youtube rampage. He is like the perfect Youtube host. Always has a video to look up and show the viewer right after the previous video is over.
The phrase "Love kick starts again" reminds me of Karly and I's relationship.

We have this strange love cycle that we can't stay away from. Can't fight it. We are excellent at one point. @ the top of the Ferris wheel happy and in love. Looking over the crowds and night lights. Then slowly we make our way down, towards the bottom of the wheel. We start to argue, bicker, get restless and easily snap @ each other.
-_- I don't like being @ the bottom of the Ferris Wheel...

2Day was a pretty decent. Internship was good. Cruised the mall with tom, while he was on his half hour break from the Mac G. We talked about my beloved girl problem. Tom liked Karly, but is totally anti-Karly now. He doesn't think she is real.lol. He brings up some pretty strong points about her. Its hard for me to sit there and listen to all the things he says. It makes me wonder If he is right or not. I know he isn't but he has some truth in his logic. Karly has made our long distance relationship very skeptical and difficult.
  1. Doesn't have her own phone
  2. Won't video chat with me
  3. Won't get her own laptop to contact me or video chat with me.
  4. Doesn't send me pictures regularly like I do with her.
  5. Won't get her own I-touch so she can Skype with me ANY TIME of the day.
  6. Won't let me talk to anyone in her family.
  7. Hasn't came and visited me once when she easily could have.
  8. Constantly calls me from a blocked number. 
  9.  
Calling me @ 9 every night is just not working out for the 2 of us anymore. I'm bored with our relationship. Its the same thing every single day and night. I love her, but something HAS to change. Let me see you with my own eyes Alyssa. I feel more REAL to you, then YOU do to I.
    From the looks of everything and the way our situation is @ the moment. I can't see us being together anytime soon, which makes me incredibly sad on the inside.

    *sigh* You are on my mind.
    She says that I am selfish. Am I really? I talk to her every single day and on the phone @ night.
    Its like if she doesn't get a dose of me every day she goes berserk. Like I am her addiction, her drug.
    It used to be sweet. Now it has turned selfishly sour.
    I can't ice skate for 2 nights out of the whole week? My new hobby. My new activity the relieves stress.
    She says that I love my skates more than her. We all know that is bull shit and non sense. That's why I have to ASK her to go ice skating every time I want to go.

    How am I selfish if I give you my attention 5 nights out of the week. I can't have 2 nights for myself?
    She has to take care of kids all day and what not, but is that my fault?
    She says talking to me @ night is the ONLY thing she looks forward too. Sorry If I don't feel the same way.
    I have been talking to her every night for practically 2 years.
    Am I supposed to stay in my house every night @ 9? Seven days out of the week?
    She thinks I am too selfish to realize how much I mean to her. More nonsense coming form her mouth. We have been together for so long. She doesn't think I know this? She just can't go 2 nights without me on the phone with her, yet when she gets angry she says she doesn't need me.
    Selfishness?
    She can up and leave Florida. Not tell anyone where she is going. Leave her brothers kids @ school without anyone knowing that she wouldn't pick them up. (idk the full story)
    She can up and leave anytime she wants when times get rough for her. Yet she can't up and leave to go see her younger brothers first air show or less importantly me?
    Selfish?
    She is a big girl. She is 21 now. She doesn't need any ones permission to go anywhere.
    She is mad @ me because I couldn't make it to her brothers air show to record it with my shitty quality phone.
    Give me a break. I watched videos on youtube of the airshow, that would have been know different from my phone.
    Oh she says it wouldn't be the same? Fuck off. <-- ayy thats nice. Apologize. Sorry.
    I can't talk to kory on the phone, but I can meet him @ an airshow? Weird.
    Unfortunately I couldn't make it to his air show because I had already had PLANS booked on my calender.
    She shouldn't blame me for her misfortune. She is always blaming me.

    Although, I am really sorry about her older brother. A bit angry I couldn't meet him... *sigh* I believe in you kyle.

    As for Alyssa and I. Our love will kick start again.

    *a note to remember.
    when you feel like giving up, remember why you held on so long.

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